2021 Road Trip: Dayton

Enter into the magical melting world of a shamanatrix. This leg of the trip was much anticipated. The time spent in Dayton was one of multiple dimensions, collapsing timelines, template transcendence, and confessionals. I would love to be able to describe the experience, but I find that the standard English language lacks the capacity to fully encapsulate its unraveling. We will first need to invent a 4 dimensional frame for language before I can even take a crack at this…. so instead of trying, I will share a story and some music.

Music: Giaw8ke

Sometimes in life, I meet someone with whom I share a past life. A few times, we have both been aware of this shared life. When this awareness exists, we are able to uncover the life and put the story together. We each hold a few pieces and when we come together, they all fit into place. When the puzzle is complete, the emotions release and together we transcend the template of stuck energy from that life time.

In this story, we were both soldiers…friends in battle and training. The energy between us was of playful competition. We had a deep respect for each other as men of honor during that time period. Many years of training side by side and many evenings spent conversing and relaxing. Time passed as we grew together, but further down the road something changed.

One of our sons was entrusted to the care of the other. They went out of the city on a training mission. They went a little too far outside of the camp and were ambushed by the enemy. The son was captured and the friend returned empty handed. Tensions rose and resentments grew. The playful competition had an edge to it that sometimes went a little too far.

The guilt and grief of that lifetime were never transcended… until now. With an unexpected gesture of an offered olive branch from one to the other, the puzzle pieces started to fall into place.

We laughed, we cried, we arm wrestled… and then we transcended emotions across time and space. The whole dynamic between us changed and we were born anew.

After this experience, I’m taking a few days to rest and rejuvenate before moving on to the next stop on this wild trip.

2021 Road Trip: Lake Geneva

The first stop on the trip is my home town of Lake Geneva. Originally called “Kishwauketoe” by the natives, which means “clear water” or “lake of the sparkling water” it was renamed Lake Geneva in 1834 by John Brink.  It reminded him of Seneca Lake near his hometown of Geneva, New York.  It was then the lake was named Geneva Lake in honor of his hometown. Lake Geneva is known for being the birthplace of Dungeons and Dragons. It is also home to the Wrigley mansion… which was donated to the local fire department when Mr. Wrigley passed away.

I spent the first part of my life in a mobile home park just out of town. It felt like growing up in a little village. Everyone knew everyone and we were always hanging out. Next to the park was a big open field and a pine forest. Down the way there was a gravel pit that housed a collection of rusty trailer tractors.

Much of the early years were spent catching bugs and frogs. The rule was that we could capture as many as we liked, bring them home to show mom, and then release them back into the wild to be caught again the next day.  The frogs all had names that indicated how hard they were to catch. They had names like: Slippy, Alpha, Ghost, etc.

We would fly kites in the open field and get dressed up to dance in the rain.

My brother and I used to build forts in the forest and pretend we were training for the Karate Kid. The trees were the “enemies”. Hay – Yah! Suh!

Every fourth of July dad would take his pressure washer and wet down the nearest part of the field for fireworks. The whole “village” would gather all their various snap, bang, pops and set them off together. We had a couple of close calls, but mostly we had fun.

Then we moved to a house in the city, only a few blocks from the lake. That’s when we started finding more things to do. We snuck into the basement of the local catholic church and tried to scare each other with tales of witch craft or buried bodies. Our ideas were inspired by the show “Tales from the Crypt”.

The economic system of the city is based primarily on tourism. It’s awkward growing up in a tourist town. Instead of seeing the same people, they’re always new and from out of town. They don’t say hello to the locals because they’re on vacation. This experience suggests the existence of multiple planes of existence. That you may be able to see people in the same reality, but in their minds exist different worlds.

The tourists come to enjoy the beauty of the lake, the outdoorsy stuff, the kitschy shops, the bars, resorts, etc. and then leave. It’s a wonderful place to either visit or stay at pretending you’re on permanent vacation.

I spent an entire summer at the beach underwater diving for buried treasure. Through a happy accident, I discovered that I could see perfectly clear underwater with goggles. There’s something about the physics of it that allows someone with even the worst vision to see crystal clear.

We found new wooded areas to build forts and discovered every footpath the area has to offer.

Nostalgia will conjure all manner of memories large and small that tell the story of one’s beginning. The thing I remember most about growing up here was how free I always felt. Free to be outside in nature and travel around where I pleased. Free to stay up late writing poetry at Hanny’s with friends while drinking 80 cent coffee. Free to learn about rave dancing with the “Riv Rats” or take a nap on public grass. Free to visit the library for an entire day. Free to ride my bike on all the back country roads and dream about being an Olympic mountain biker.

There were hard times too, but if you squeeze those moments out and flatten them into the lines between the sweet ones, they don’t seem so loud and they don’t get to own the story.

Today is mother’s birthday. (Yes, on April fool’s day). So, just for today, I’ll be adventuring with her…and just as the wave begins to crest, before it crashes into the shore… I’m on the road again.

2021 Road Trip – Pre-Departure: Milwaukee

As the final passages of this chapter are unfolding before my eye, I am humbled by the hardness and beauty that is behind me. Saying goodbye to the demons in my head, breaking free from the chains of should have’s and should do’s. We’re moving into uncertain territory.

These wings sure do look nice though. 

I take a deep breath

            And one last look at the grooves in these floors 

Cut by so many footsteps trapesing back and forth from the kitchen to the front porch.

The basement door that sticks in the summer time,

            The hole in the dining room floor where the bugs come in,

The rusty pipes in the bathroom,

The energy of wars fought but never won, playing on repeat, echoing through the voices of players that switch positions over and over again through all time.

The gentle yearning for healing … and more.

The air is dirty and moist even though I just cleaned every floor space on my hands and knees.

I’m sad

  And grateful.

For every exchange that took place, every circumstance that was faced,

We are all the better for it… 

I know I left this place better than when I found it and now it’s time for the next adventure.

For me to learn how to trust again. A true test of surrendering to the beauty of the unknown. 

I already feel caught between this breath and your hands. It feels so amazing.

I’m curious where my higher self will take me, as my ego relaxes, up for the task. I feel the world rushing in toward me as I am rushing toward it… I’m ready to feel everything. The joy, the pain, the rush, the destruction. I am ready to be taken … and brought to my knees.

Milwaukee. A city of many layers. There’s something so magnetic about you. I love searching through all your dark corners and memorizing the foot paths around the river. I love the people of all stratosphere. It’s a great training grounds for becoming. It’s a place where you can step into your own and learn to fly. I love all the green spaces here and all the striving to be better. I am going to miss this city.

In preparing for departure, I was gifted tokens by friends to help me on the journey.

A necklace with the aquarian symbol to announce who I am before I speak,

A deck of cards because, “If you’re ever lost in the woods, just start playing solitaire and before you know it someone will be looking over your shoulder telling you what to do next.”

A coin to flip to decide which way to turn when I’m not sure,

And the book “Warrior of the Light” by Paulo Coelho.

And today, the 31st of March, I set on my way. 

This road trip is imbued with many intentions and manifestations. Firstly, to close a chapter that’s been over for a while. Second, to get so rest and rejuvenation from all the work of last year. All year I was holding space for so many different truths and stories while going through my own rebirthing process. I hope to gain a deeper perspective on what’s important in life and what I want to focus on moving forward. I want to see this beautiful country. Look for land to buy/build on… etc. See friends old and new. Plant seeds. Feel alive. Drive and drive and drive.